From the album At This Distance
Lyrics
Heavy hearted, rising on this day
A day at present put off far too long
How can I convince you what’s done is done
And that you did nothing wrong?
I swore I’d tell the truth
But I never wanted you to cry
It’s not that I don’t love you
You’re just not the one for me
This is not for lack of virtue
I hope someday you’ll agree
Broke and heartless, sitting speechless now
You’re sobbing to me through the phone again
Can’t take this much longer, but what kind of man am I
If I can’t be here as a friend?
I still do care for you
But I need you to be moving on
And it’s not that I don’t want you
In some way still with me
But this is already unhealthy
This is not how friends should be
The decision to hurt you is killing me
But I won’t be sorry for how I feel
Why can’t you see it only hurts you more if I go
And hide from you what it is I feel inside?
Notes
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I was going through a big Deftones phase when I wrote the music for this. Be Quiet and Drive (Far Away) has such an awesome groove, and I wanted to do something similar. This was the first song that Jim and I wrote together when we decided we still wanted to write music together, and I still remember this song proving to ourselves that we could continue to grow as songwriters, regardless of what particular genre we happened to be playing. I played him a rough skeleton of the music over at his apartment and we worked together to get the song fleshed out, and it was just one of those songs that came together really quickly. This song has a few neat harmonics parts, guitar wise. During the verse, I ended up doing pinch harmonics on 2 consecutive strings at the same time, one of those things that shouldn’t really work but does. Also, at the end of the bridge, there’s another pretty noticeable harmonic. I had actually meant to play a different one, but while I was recording it, that big harmonic just popped out of nowhere. I hadn’t yet doubled my take, and when I came to that part in the song, since I had no idea what I’d done to actually hit that harmonic the first time, I’d shoot for my original harmonic, but I ended up doubling the cool harmonic perfectly. Then, at the end of the song, there’s a neat little ascending chord run with descending natural harmonics. Guitar nerd stuff, but I certainly had a lot of fun recording this one.
